Saturday, 24 October 2009

Ageless Dinosaurs

No, I’m not referring to the PTC Faculty. A recent children’s book on dinosaurs boasts that it avoids the question of how long ago these lovable monsters roamed the earth and so should be acceptable to evolutionists and creationists alike.

What a great marketing idea! We could extend this please-all approach to future editions of the Bible. We could have a collapsible or expandable canon, with clever fold-out pages which could remain discreetly hidden for Protestants. There could be a version of the ten commandments which allowed a set of checkbox options as to which ones the reader would like included/omitted. The one on coveting might have some extra letters in brackets —You shall not co(n)ve(r)t — for those with an aversion to evangelism. The Song of Songs could come with brown paper wrapper, and instructions for gaining access once one has learned the meaning of the word allegory.

The gospels could come in the usual fourfold form, as well as a composite form for those who want to save the effort of hearing their different voices. The resurrection could be made an optional outcome in a choose-your own-ending to the life story of Jesus. There could even be some blank pages to describe the Christ of your own experience. It would be very handy to have a version of Paul’s letters which relegates to footnotes (only to be read by those with a peculiar bent for trying to understand the whole of his complex thought) all the troublesome bits and sticks to the ‘safe’ passages in the text.

There could be a high church liturgical account of the meetings of the early Christians, and one that doesn’t mention worship at all, so as to appeal to contemporary evangelicals.

The Book of Revelation could come with alternative sets of charts marked PRE-, A-, and POST-, and perhaps to cover those keen on the idea of Christ’s rule, but not sure of the other options, one marked PRO-. There’s no end to the possibilities this strategy opens up.

1 comment: said...

Not sure about others, but I found that rather amusing. Makes the point well.
Darren Middleton